Carnegie Hall

Practice, practice, practice!

This is what I am doing lots of. and I know it’s going to take a long, long time to get to anything resembling a competitive standard, but time is on my side with this. I don’t feel old or hopeless or resigned to never being competitive.

I am positive, looking forward to overcoming this challenge, determined to beat these problems. With attitude and determination I can see no reason why I shouldn’t compete again and give anyone who thinks that they’re going to get an easy ride against the guy with dartitis who’s playing with his wrong hand a nasty surprise. The wrong hand is slowly but surely becoming the right hand due to that ever present ‘Practice, practice, practice!’.

I’d like at this point to say a big thanks to my good friend Scott, who has been recently coming round to practice with me. We have been playing matches against each other a couple of nights a week, and although the averages aren’t rising to a staggering extent just yet – the finishing is definitely improving, my action is settling a little and I am not missing the board anymore! (much)

It’s important not to lose hope and keep your head up. Sometimes you can reach a Plato and then sometimes you surge ahead, but it’s all part of the process.

Keep going, don’t lose heart and you can overcome. I will compete again! I will, I refuse to be beaten.

Generosity from Unicorn Darts

I would like to post a big thank you here to Unicorn darts and to their excellent customer service.

Unicorn recently sent me a set of their Sigma pro darts in an unexpected and most generous gesture. I cannot praise highly enough Unicorns quality of service or the quality of the product they manufacture.

My sincere appreciation to all at Unicorn

Thank You!

Getting marginally better

Time and not expecting miracles is key to this kind of relearning. Small steps.

I can however tell you that it is not totally disheartening. I have made improvements.
The one that seems most key to me is the fact that it no longer feels ’strange’ to throw with my left hand. It seems that I have now been practicing with my non-dominant hand long enough for my brain to become habituated to playing this way. I briefly tried to throw with my right hand and dartitis / dystonia aside it seemed strange to be trying to throw with my conventionally dominant hand.

I am taking this as a very positive thing!
My brain is growing accustomed to this new throw and I am therefore feeling more and more comfortable on the oche (leaving aside the pains in my left knee and the back ache incurred through my change in posture).

Odd though it may seem I am now more comfortable and it seems more natural to play with my non-dominant hand than my dominant one.

It’s amazing what you can get used to!

Frustration

Trying to relearn something with your non dominant hand. Especially something that makes such extreme demands on hand eye co-ordination as darts is, I have to say a very frustrating process.
If it weren’t for the dartitis (dystonia) I would not be doing this.
If it weren’t for the a certain bloody mindedness in my character that prohibits my giving up without a fight to the bitter or triumphant end, I would not be doing this.

It is however really cheesing me off at the moment and I succumbed to the urge to change Darts, Flights and Stems in an attempt to shake things up… Or settle them down… One or the other.

I can only say at this point that unless you have had a similar experience yourself, you will not completely understand. We have all suffered frustrations in our lives. Indeed I have suffered many myself, but not like this. This is something in a league of its own.

I think the key to what makes it so frustrating is the fact that I used to find playing so easy. Now my hand is just beyond all conscious control. My game is destroyed not because I did not practice or was careless. Not because I was not determined. Not because I lack talent or commitment.

Dartitis has proved me with a new experience. My own body beyond my conscious ability to control it. A talent that I had taken for granted, taken away from me. It seems completely random.

Possibly the worst thought is that years of practice may have contributed to my dystonia.

That is of course somewhat ironic, it’s possible all the time and dedication I applied to improving my game was the major contributing factor to the irreparable destruction of my natural game.

So here I am, square one, frustrated as anything but determined not to be beaten.

Well time will tell if I shall triumph (at least on a personal basis) and return to competition darts at an acceptable level, or if I am engaged in an exercise in futility.

7.55%

See? I said I would keep getting better. 7.55% this time. There were moments; before I expended 69 darts trying to hit double 7 that I thought I was going to top 10% with no trouble.

10% is my immediate target for getting round the board on the doubles. Not a huge target you will note but one that I feel sure is attainable in not so much time.

I feel very strongly that the key to accomplishing the impossible is to break the impossible down into things that are merely very, very hard to do. Then break those very, very hard things down into things that are only difficult. And difficult isn’t impossible is it? In fact difficult isn’t that hard.

Yes I long to be competitive but I have to take a realistic and long term view. I’ll get there in the end.

All around the world

I have just gotten around the world… on doubles.

I hit an amazing… are you ready for it?

6.18%

WOW!!

Well not wow obviously, it’s terrible, appalling, dreadful.
Amusingly enough however the best score I have recorded using my natural hand is 61.74%. Just move that decimal point. Worse by an order of magnitude. That’s quite a lot really.

However on the positive side.

1. I did get round in less than a day.
2. I did not punish the wall as much as previously.
3. I did not give up.
4. I did not swear and let myself get frustrated.

All the above are good solid positive points; especially helpful is point 4.

Anyway back to the jubilation. The wonder in this case is not that it was done well (because it wasn’t), but as with piano playing dogs and dancing sheep; the wonder is that it was done at all.

Thank you.

And next time it will be done better.

Getting it Right with the Left!

Got round the board on singles!

Took about 100 visits to the board (That’s 300 darts to hit 20 singles). This is some kind of an indicator as to how bad things can be when setting out to re-train yourself with your off hand. The thing is though, I did better than yesterday.

Improvement, any improvement day on day is a positive thing. Your most valuable tool in an enterprise like this is… if possible you must stay positive.

The advice that is given out to people who are just starting out playing darts is just as applicable to someone re-learning because they have dartitis / dystonia.

1. Set yourself reasonable targets.
2. Keep track of your progress.
3. Maintain a positive attitude.
4. Don’t expect miracles.

I seriously think that you need to get your head set right for something like this.

You need to concentrate on improvement and taking the positive from every indicator of progress, be determined and look to the ability that you wish to cultivate. It is pointless to morn over the ability that you have lost; no amount of looking back will move you forward.

Left behind (brief venting between helpful posts)

It really is quite something to be deprived of a skill that you have pretty much taken for granted for years. I was a good darts player, a class act, a hard man to beat, always dangerous, simple as that.

Currently I am not a good darts player, the dread dartitis has cast me down (for the time being).

Having a dystonia is a truly odd experience. Your body just will not obey you. It just wont. I know what I’m thinking, I know what I wish my hand to do as it has probably millions of times in my life, effortlessly, easily, smoothly, accurately. And then I watch it twist into what I now know as a classic dystonic posture.

There is no pain! No real discomfort unless I try really hard to resist it happening. It just happens. Beyond my will or my conscious power to control.

So now as my friends and team mates are out enjoying a game, playing a match or tournament. Here I am, truly left behind. My own body has let me down, will not obey me.

Its… well its not a fun feeling, not pleasant at all.

Still you cant let these things beat you can you? Back to the practice board now. Never give in, never surrender. Stiff upper lip. Remember your a womble etc.

Leftism

Day One

Terrible truly truly terrible. It really makes you think that there is no hope at all. How on earth are you ever going to throw a competitive dart again when you cant even hit the dart board reliably???

Incredible! How can I be this uncoordinated?
Its not as if the board is a long way off is it? Or very small?

It is very hard to believe that I was ever this bad playing with my right hand.
In fact it’s probably true, you learn coordination with your dominant hand in a myriad of tasks over years before you start playing darts. So yes I probably was never this bad with my right hand.

Its going to be a long and hard road, that’s for certain! You can tell that I am somewhat frustrated at the thought of the struggle ahead due to my excessive punctuations!!

To be honest with you I have actually been practicing left handed for some days now and I am writing this retrospectively. So I am not really that upset but simulating the frustration for your benefit.

Next time something all together more hopeful

On the other hand

OK. I suppose I should now tell you what I am personally doing about my dartitis (focal dystonia).

Please bear in mind that some of the earlier points.

1. There is no completely effective treatment for dystonia.
2. It’s only going to get worse.
3. I really, really do not want to keep playing like a prat!

Alright number 3 wasn’t in my earlier blogs but it’s a crucial point.

Well there’s nothing for it, it’s going to be a hard road, very frustrating and it’s going to take some time. You may have guessed from the title of this post what I have decided I have to do – PLAY WITH MY OTHER HAND!

There! I’ve said it! And I am now doing it. Trying to get my left hand working like my right hand used to and, it’s not easy. I’ve been at it for a few days now; trying to remember if I was truly this awful when I first started playing darts. If I tell you that I was 11 when I first started to play and am now 40, you will understand why I am not sure if I was ever quite this bad. I do know from the state I remember my bedroom wall being in that I certainly did miss the board quite a lot in my early days when I first started working on the doubles especially. Well the wall in my own house is now taking something like the pounding that the wall in my parents house took in those early days.

So now it’s back to the practice board and build up from scratch.

In my next post I will let you know what progress (or otherwise) I am making in my own personal battle with the dreaded dartitis.