Frustration

Trying to relearn something with your non dominant hand. Especially something that makes such extreme demands on hand eye co-ordination as darts is, I have to say a very frustrating process.
If it weren’t for the dartitis (dystonia) I would not be doing this.
If it weren’t for the a certain bloody mindedness in my character that prohibits my giving up without a fight to the bitter or triumphant end, I would not be doing this.

It is however really cheesing me off at the moment and I succumbed to the urge to change Darts, Flights and Stems in an attempt to shake things up… Or settle them down… One or the other.

I can only say at this point that unless you have had a similar experience yourself, you will not completely understand. We have all suffered frustrations in our lives. Indeed I have suffered many myself, but not like this. This is something in a league of its own.

I think the key to what makes it so frustrating is the fact that I used to find playing so easy. Now my hand is just beyond all conscious control. My game is destroyed not because I did not practice or was careless. Not because I was not determined. Not because I lack talent or commitment.

Dartitis has proved me with a new experience. My own body beyond my conscious ability to control it. A talent that I had taken for granted, taken away from me. It seems completely random.

Possibly the worst thought is that years of practice may have contributed to my dystonia.

That is of course somewhat ironic, it’s possible all the time and dedication I applied to improving my game was the major contributing factor to the irreparable destruction of my natural game.

So here I am, square one, frustrated as anything but determined not to be beaten.

Well time will tell if I shall triumph (at least on a personal basis) and return to competition darts at an acceptable level, or if I am engaged in an exercise in futility.

7.55%

See? I said I would keep getting better. 7.55% this time. There were moments; before I expended 69 darts trying to hit double 7 that I thought I was going to top 10% with no trouble.

10% is my immediate target for getting round the board on the doubles. Not a huge target you will note but one that I feel sure is attainable in not so much time.

I feel very strongly that the key to accomplishing the impossible is to break the impossible down into things that are merely very, very hard to do. Then break those very, very hard things down into things that are only difficult. And difficult isn’t impossible is it? In fact difficult isn’t that hard.

Yes I long to be competitive but I have to take a realistic and long term view. I’ll get there in the end.

All around the world

I have just gotten around the world… on doubles.

I hit an amazing… are you ready for it?

6.18%

WOW!!

Well not wow obviously, it’s terrible, appalling, dreadful.
Amusingly enough however the best score I have recorded using my natural hand is 61.74%. Just move that decimal point. Worse by an order of magnitude. That’s quite a lot really.

However on the positive side.

1. I did get round in less than a day.
2. I did not punish the wall as much as previously.
3. I did not give up.
4. I did not swear and let myself get frustrated.

All the above are good solid positive points; especially helpful is point 4.

Anyway back to the jubilation. The wonder in this case is not that it was done well (because it wasn’t), but as with piano playing dogs and dancing sheep; the wonder is that it was done at all.

Thank you.

And next time it will be done better.